Call me Ahab

posted by Caleb on Dec 26

BEAT CENTAL MICHIGAN!

posted by Caleb on Dec 26

Another travel day, this time from Seattle to Indy by way of Wisconsin. Weather seems to be nice, and I have a crappy/awesome sci-fi novel to amuse myself with on the plane.

Today’s travel gripe is the word “pre-board”. Since I’m just ripping off an old Dennis Leary bit with that gripe I won’t go into further detail, but it really does annoy the hell out of me. You can’t pre-board anything. You’re either boarding, or you’re not.

That concludes today’s travel gripe. Here’s to hoping I don’t set off the bomb detectors at Sea-Tac.

posted by Caleb on Dec 25

‘Twas the night before Christmas, you get the idea

Because you’ve heard this before, practically every damn year.

Some guy always sits at his PC and thinks

“I’ll re-write that poem, and make it not stink.”

The problem of course with this theory remains

that most people who write poetry aren’t big “in the brain”.

And yet every year we see this same old rhyme scheme;

as someone else adapts a tale of a child’s dream.

And so dear reader, in hopes of internet fame

I find myself typing, even though I feel lame.

Since this is a blog, I suppose my verse should say

critical things of this poem, and hint that it’s gay.

NOW PUNDITRY, NOW SARCASM, NOW SNARK AND YELLING!

ON VITRIOL, ON HUMOR, ON HITCOUNTS AND  SPELLING!

To the front of the tubes, to Google’s very front door

if you blog for your supper, you’ll still be poor!

And so dear reader, you see my confusion

Such poems can be fun, and easy to work on.

But to write such a poem, a ripped off verse

Would not just make me lame, no it would make me much worse.

By writing a verse in that hackneyed old screed

I would be guilty of committed the foulest of deeds.

And now I sit, nearly completed;

and feel as though my soul is depleted.

On this day of joy, with my voice so tinny.

I realize I’ve contributed to an internet meme.

So with my head held low, and my shame clearly seen,

I have become that I hate, an internet ween.

No creativity here, just a poem that stinks;

So Merry Christmas to all, now go drink.

posted by Caleb on Dec 24

I forget when I’m not here how much I miss the natural beauty of this place.  The mountains, the coast line, the evergreens; there really isn’t anything about this area that I don’t find aesthetically pleasing.  I do find the political climate to be less than pleasing, but such is life.

Yesterday, we did a little tour of the area wineries; if drinking excellent Washington Wines before noon on a Sunday is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.

Blogging continues, albeit sporadically.  The political scene has been somewhat quiet lately, possibly owning to the whole “Christmas” thing that is rapidly approaching.  Tomorrow, after the opening of the gifts ritual, I’ll do my duty and report any gun related haul that may come my way.

posted by Caleb on Dec 22

Minneapolis/St. Paul is a pretty big place. It was probably about a half mile walking from where our flight arrived to where our next plane departs from.

Observation: the amount of gadgetry that we carry to go about travel is truly staggering. When I was young warthog at the Academy, I flew with nothing but my wallet and a combo cover. Now, I have 2 phones, an iPod, and chargers for them all. That doesn’t include Mrs. Ahab’s two phones or her iPod.

It is nice I suppose, as all this technology does allow me to live blog my travel woes from my Blackberry.

posted by Caleb on Dec 22

No offense to my dad, but the TSA is full of retards. I am always mildly insulted when I damn near have to strip naked to clear security, while some high school dropout roots through my personal belongings.

Today, to add insult to injury, my boots set off the bomb residue detector. Apparently, pyrodex residue on my shoes is enough to get the job done. That, or the wanker checking me can’t read the electronic display.

More updates when we get to Milwaukee or Minneapolis or whevever the hell we’re going for our first layover.

posted by Caleb on Dec 21

I will be blogging over the holidays, but it won’t be from my home of Indianapolis.  I’m done with work until next year (awesome) and tomorrow at oh-dark-thirty Mrs. Ahab and I will be departing for Seattle to visit my family.

Unlike Sebastian, I probably won’t get to do too much shooting, but I will have opportunity to work on my dad about giving me that 16 gauge ‘97 Winchester.  Or the .357 Ruger custom build.

Also, next year, we’re going to have shirts!  That’s right - custom made “Call me Ahab” shirts.  Because everyone needs a polo with curse words on it.

posted by Caleb on Dec 21

So, I’m watching “Super Guns” on Modern Marvels, and they keep putting this guy from H&K up as a “consultant”. He keeps talking about “for the military”, and the guns that h&k are developing.

It just reminds me how much hk hates the civilian market.

Well, now Garry James is talking about the gyrojet pistol. Now they’re talking about the Dardick…I am questioning naming this show “super guns”. Of course, since they just showed a Taurus Titanium, I’m thinking that this particular episode is kind of old.

posted by Caleb on Dec 21

When I wrote this post a couple of days ago. I’m on CNN.com, and I see an article headline that says this, word for word: Teens charged in ‘Mortal Kombat’ killing

Two teens have been charged with killing the 7-year-old sister of one of them by beating her with imitations of moves from the “Mortal Kombat” video game, prosecutors said.

I have a newsflash for the prosecutor.  Mortal Kombat did not teach these kids to beat a 7 year old to death.  These kids beat a seven year old to death most likely because they are sick, twisted little bastards - but video games didn’t make them that way.

The article goes on to point out that at least one of the teen-aged murderers was drunk when he assisted in beating a little girl to death.  Teenagers drinking, what a surprise.  Teenagers drinking while babysitting a seven-year old shows that these little pieces of shit have no sense of responsibility.  As teenagers don’t really have a sense of responsibility anyway, it generally falls to their parents to teach it to them.  So in this case, the parents apparently skipped the day where you’re supposed to tell your child to not beat people to death.  You know, maybe something like this:

Parent: “Hey son/daughter, can I talk to you for a second?

Child: “What?”

Parent: “Just wanted to remind you, don’t get drunk while you’re underage and beat a little girl to death.”

I’m actually really angry about this issue for all sorts of reasons.  Either the parents of these kids absolutely failed in every regard, or the kids were just murderous sociopaths anyway is just part of why I’m upset.  The only good thing about this is that it is quite likely that both kids will be convicted, and will hopefully spend the next 40-50 years in prison, rotting.

posted by Caleb on Dec 21

812 posts, over 2,000 comments, one url change, and almost 80,000 hits.

Happy Birthday to my blag.  Here’s my very first post, back when this place was still called What Would John Wayne Do.

*sniff* they grow up so fast now