Call me Ahab

posted by Caleb on May 28

Currently, the Congressional Medal of Honor is the highest military award in this country. However, the Medal was created in 1862; before that time America had already fought several wars, not the least of which was our struggle for liberty.

Originally when Memorial Day was created, it was to honor members of the service who had died during the Civil War; however after WWI it was expanded to include any military action or war. Which brings us to today’s history lesson; the first true American veterans and some of the heroes that you might not have heard about.

Before there was the Medal of Honor, there was a medal called the Badge of Military Merit; it was the highest military award in the country.

Daniel Bissell enlisted into the Continental Army in 1775, where he initially served as a fifer, in 1777 he was promoted to sergeant. In 1781, under direct orders from General Washington he posed as a deserter to gain information on the British - realizing that his position as just a deserter did not allow him close enough access to the British, he enlisted in the British Army where he served for 13 months. During that time, he memorized maps of enemy positions, each day knowing that if he were discovered he would be hanged as a spy. Sergeant Bissell made his way back to American lines after 13 months, where he arrested and held until General Washington verified his story.

Michael Healy was captain in the US Revenue Cutter Service, which was the predecessor to the current US Coast Guard. Healy was the commanding officer of the cutter Bear starting in 1886. During 1888, the Alaskan whaling fleet was anchored to ride out a storm; however the storm was much stronger than anticipated. Despite the waves breaking up four of the whaling vessels, under Healy’s command Bear was able to rescue over 160 otherwise doomed sailors.

Lieutenant Edward Preble was the commanding officer of the US Revenue Cutter Pickering, which during the Quasi-War with France was absorbed into the US Navy for the duration of the conflict, and was officially transfered to the Navy in 1780. In 1799, under the command of LT Preble, Pickering fought an engagement against a French privateer named L’Egypte Conquise. The French privateer outclassed Pickering in armament and had more than triple the crew of Pickering. After a 9-hour battle which is considered one of the finest examples of how to fight a smaller ship against a heavier, better armed enemy; the French privateer surrendered to Pickering.

There is no way I could possibly compile even a partial list of all of this country’s departed heroes who deserve mention - men and women whose names should not fade with history, but should be remembered by everyone as examples of courage, discipline, and love of country.

posted by Caleb on May 26

Went to the range today, and while I was there I shot the 2nd match of the E-Postal Match season, called “Golf”.

Holy crap was this hard. I only entered two guns, my EAA Bounty Hunter and my Ruger GP100, I started with the EAA. You were supposed to shoot two targets, one from a rest and one offhand. Click the links for the targets from the EAA Bounty Hunter.

This is the target from the rest

This is the offhand target

As you can see, I didn’t do quite as well as I expected. A grand total of 42 shots after penalties really killed me. The bottom most target just slaughtered me on both targets; I swear I just couldn’t hit it for the life of me.

Of course, then things started to get weird. I switched to the GP100, which is an iron sighted .357 Magnum, I’ve shot it to the point where the trigger is really smooth and crisp in DA mode.

Here’s the offhand target, which I fired first. The offhand target has a counting error, I forgot to add the +2 penalty for the two shots that hit the little water down under the right most bullseye. Instead of 21, it’s actually a 25.

Here’s the target from the rest. For whatever reason, everything came together on that target. My sights were crisp and clear; the trigger broke clean - everything about that target felt right. My total for the GP100 after penalties is 33 shots, which beats the hell out of my rimfire score.

This was a fun match; it was deceptively challenging. Those little red dots seem pretty easy to hit when you’re looking at the target at close range; then when you roll it down to 25 feet those dots are really, really small. For your personal edification, the red dots are actually smaller than the 10 ring on a 50 foot free pistol target; so if you had a high score like me you shouldn’t feel bad.

The only bad thing about this weekend was that my favorite range, Eagle Creek was closed so I couldn’t get my new red dot sight for the 10/22 sighted in. Once I do that, I’m actually going to shoot this course with a rifle at 25 yards just to see if it’s easier or harder.

posted by Caleb on May 26

In honor of John Wayne’s 100th birthday today, I’m putting up a collection of quotes from John Wayne movies. Then I’m going to range to shoot all my revolvers; and I’ll finally close the evening with whiskey.

You can call me Dad, you can call me Father, you can call me Jacob and you can call me Jake. You can call me a dirty old son-of-a-bitch, but if you EVER call me Daddy again, I’ll finish this fight. - From Big Jake

I can honestly say that I don’t think I ever called my father “daddy”. It just wasn’t something that you use to refer to your father unless you’re a 12 year old girl. My dad was always “Dad”, “Father”, “Pop”, or occasionally “sir”.

Well, a gun that’s unloaded and cocked ain’t good for nothin’. - From True Grit

I might have used that one before, but it stands to use again. A liberal friend once asked me why I kept a loaded gun in my house; to which I was proud to reply with my best twang that “Well, a gun that’s unloaded ain’t good for nothin’.” I then proceed to giggle in a most un-manful fashion.

know I’m gonna use good judgement. I haven’t lost my temper in 40 years, but pilgrim you caused a lot of trouble this monring, might have got somebody killed… and somebody oughta belt you in the mouth. But I won’t, I won’t. The hell I won’t. [punches man in the mouth] - From McClintock!

Some people just need a good punching, that’s all there is to it. There are times when all the nice words and patience will get you nowhere. Some people only respond to a closed fist, and as unfortunate as that is, we are fortunate that there are people ready to deliver that closed fist. (Happy Memorial Day).

Republic. I like the sound of the word. It means people can live free, talk free, go or come, buy or sell, be drunk or sober, however they choose. Some words give you a feeling. Republic is one of those words that makes me tight in the throat - the same tightness a man gets when his baby takes his first step or his first baby shaves and makes his first sound as a man. Some words can give you a feeling that makes your heart warm. Republic is one of those words. - From The Alamo

I oft wonder if people even realize that we don’t live in a democracy, but rather in a representative republic. Of course, if folks realized the idealized version of what the Duke is talking about above, most of bloggers would be out of business.

I don’t believe in surrenders. Nope, I’ve still got my saber, Reverend. Didn’t beat it into no plowshare, neither. - From The Searchers

Considered one of his all time great movies; this is my favorite line from The Searchers. If I were to apply exegesis to that quote it would serve to reinforce my strongly held belief that it is much preferable to die on one’s feet than to live on your knees. While it is perfectly acceptable for some folks to beat their swords into plowshares when the fighting is done, there must always be men and women who keep their swords in the even they are needed again.

Not me, Mister. From now on, I’m a farmer. - From Angel & the Badman

Ah, movies about redemption. I do believe that there’s a quote that goes something like “the love of a good woman” and its relatively life changing effects on a man. I can personally attest to to that. It’s always enhanced my enjoyment of this movie.

“God, how I hate solemn funerals. When I die, take me into a room and burn me. Then my family and a few good friends should get together, have a few good belts, and talk about the crazy old time we all had together.” - John Wayne on his funeral wishes

Well, I’ll certainly commemorate this day according to his wishes. Which leads me to my final quote, from The Sands of Iwo Jima.

posted by Caleb on May 26

It’s kind of interesting, actually. Not one, but two huge influences in my childhood are celebrating milestones either today or this weekend.

The first Star Wars movie was released 30 years ago today, and the 100th anniversary of John Wayne’s birth is tomorrow. Both the Star Wars franchise and John Wayne had a tremendous impact on me as a kid and even as a young adult; I’m pleasantly tickled that both icons are celebrating significant anniversaries this weekend.

Because of the enjoyment, fun, entertainment, and other things that I’ve garnered from both the Duke and Star Wars, today each of them gets their own post. The other posts should go up shortly after this and are below this post.

posted by Caleb on May 25

From a Short Takeoff and Landing contest in Alaska.

Just unreal.

(H/T to Mr. Completely)

posted by Caleb on May 25

posted by Caleb on May 24

Tomorrow marks what would have been the Duke’s 100th birthday. In case you’re completely blind, you might have noticed that John Wayne pops up from time to time in the themes of this blog. Just like I mentioned in the Star Wars post, I watched a lot of movies growing up, and not as much TV as other kids.

John Wayne movies were as much a factor to me as the Star Wars trilogy, if not more. Nevermind that he always played the same character, to me, the Duke was larger than life. My grandmother had a collection of his really old movies, films like The Man from Utah, or one of his all time classics, Angel and the Badman. The old black and white John Wayne movies were fantastic - the Duke would ride in, kick hell out of the bad guys, and that was that.

One of the interesting things about the approximately 8,000,000 John Wayne movies are the ones that no one seems to know about. Two personal favorites of mine are The Sea Spoilers, and Donovan’s Reef. The Sea Spoilers because it’s about the Coast Guard, and Donovan’s Reef because it’s a departure from the usual war/western movie. No one ever seems to show those on TV, which is kind of bummer.

John Wayne over the years became a cultural icon. He has become synonymous with an image of the “rugged American individual”, to “John Wayne” something was to go it your own way and stick by your guns.

These days, I still enjoy John Wayne movies - party because of the nostalgic value, and partly because it’s nice to get away. The world is pretty complicated, the simplicity of a John Wayne movie where the good guys are good and the bad guys is often quite appealing.

I still want to be John Wayne when I grow up.

posted by Caleb on May 24

Who the hell is writing these things? I understand that right now the market is for “tacticool” junk and the latest greatest custom 1911 or Hi-cap EuroBlaster, that’s fine. I bow to vagaries of the market.

Honestly though, what is with the obsession with all this black rifle/polymer handgun stuff? I just don’t get it; I’d much rather spend $900 bucks on this than on some Delux Poodle Shooter 3000. But hey, that’s just me.

So, here we go with links and my overly sarcastic reviews of the random gun magazines.

Guns and Ammo - Basically the king dog of gun rags; ever since Col. Cooper’s passing the magazine hasn’t had his wit or wisdom to serve as a life vest on this otherwise drowning publication. I really can’t stand their new format with the double page spread of whatever 1911 they’ve decided to highlight this month.

American Handgunner - If you like your gun-rags glossy and not full of big words, American Handgunner is the magazine for you. Exhibiting a strong desire to constantly appeal to the lowest common denominator, this magazine manages to routinely achieve mediocrity in the face of average achievement. Also, Charles Petty needs to stop bitching about how much he hates the internet. One point in Handgunner’s favor is John Connor; his columns are both amusing and entertaining.

Guns Magazine - It’s just like American Handgunner, except with long arms in addition to handguns! Mercifully, it features slightly less of Masad Ayoob talking about how awesome he is (ed. I actually really like Mas Ayoob, he’s just a convenient target); unfortunately it trades that for even less content to get in the way of the full page adds masquerading as articles.

Combat Handguns - Combat Handguns could be alternately titled “The Diary of Tacticool Teddy”. Although their gun reviews are generally well written and sometimes actually review the gun instead of just taking a fat sack of cash and saying nice things about it; chief amongst their sins is the “It Happened To Me” column. Filled with stories full of florid prose, they read like “Tales from the Mall Ninja Cantina”.

Guns & Weapons for Law Enforcement - One of many, many sister publications to Combat Handuns, this magazine could quite easily be “The Mall Ninja Shopping Guide”. Chock full of articles full of phrases like “extended tac-rail”, “OODA Loop”, “combat accurate”, and whatever else makes Tacticool Teddy wet his very tactical underoos.

Don’t worry, the Interweb “gunmagazines” have just as much fault!

The Box O’ Truth - I wanted to like this guy. I really, really did. And if he had just stuck to the format of “shooting stuff is cool” and showing how various bullets wreak havoc on various things, I would. But he has to make this “conclusions” based off really, really, really poor data. Plus, when he redesigned his page to have all those annoying as hell adds, I completely lost interest.

So, there you go. I got my snark on, I feel great. There are about 10,000 gun magazines out there, and I could do a column about how each one of them grinds my gears. However, I’ve probably alienated enough of my readership as is, so I’ll lay off for now.

Update: This was posted in the comments, and really deserves to be up here on the front page where everyone can see it.

For some reason, the phrase “Tacticool Teddy” keeps conjuring up images of something that would come from a Victoria’s Secret Agent catalog. Something sheer and filmy with a shoulder holster, extra mag pouches, and a couple knife sheathes.

Now that’s funny.

posted by Caleb on May 24

Holocaust deniers are insane. Just completely and utterly batshit loco, unlike your garden variety crazies (like folks who don’t believe the moon landing), holocaust deniers not only deny something for which there is literally reams of evidence, but they roll in their own filth while they do it.

Completely, and totally insane. I’m all on board with free speech, so they can say whatever they want, however you can’t really get around the fact that they’re wrong. And when they’re wrong, they’re crazy about it too.

Watch kid, or the Jews will get you!

posted by Caleb on May 24

Allen Lee, the Chicago area student who had been arrested and charged with disorderly conduct for turning in a school assignment has had the charges against him dropped.

I’m semi-pleased, only semi because he never should have been arrested in the first place. Of course, I still think that the actual reason all this happened is because in his essay, young Mr. Lee insinuated that the teacher who gave the class the assignment wasn’t very good at her job.

That might be a little too “tin-foil hat” though, so I’ll let it ride. The best news is that the young man is now free to pursue his goal of enlisting in the Marines.